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first let me give you a background on my feelings- which i hope to eliminate by yoga help

i think i worry too much about everything. like 2 years ago i kept worrying if i was liked by everyone at school and if i was cool enough. then lets just say i grew out of that, but then i kept worrying about exams and results. i even once had a breakdown during the exam period because i thought i just cannot do this, even though i have been a good student throughout.

But the main problem now is the fact that i get really jealous and upset at times when i meet some girl who is really pretty, it keeps on reminding me that i am not that pretty, and then i feel sad. is this normal for a 16 year old to feel? im getting worried that i cannot keep my emotions under control and at times this freaks me out. Also when someone doesnt like me or talk to me this makes me feel really inferior and sad.

Also i keep worrying about when i go uni and everyone starts to go clubbing. because, i have quite dark underarms (which i am trying to get rid of with creams and all that) and like i am really scared that people will think i look ugly in sleeveless tops and all that..
I am constantly comparing myself to others

what do i do- i keep worrying about the past and the future...thanks so much for listening and helping.

also i have polycystic ovarian syndrome, i want to do some pranayamas to help me

1 Answer

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by Top Expert
it is obvious that you become jealous while considering others who are much more pretty than you are.  Take it obvious and that's good that you are conscious of this feeling.  The only thing you have to do is not to be affected by this feeling and not do any action arising out of this feeling.  Take it as obvious.  If I had been at your place, I would have been the same personality being affected by jealousy.  But we do not have to become guilty conscious nor act arising out of this jealousy.

But transform this feeling of jealousy into compassion or love, whom you are jealous with.  But first of all, be technical about it.  See, your mind have the habit of comparing your features with others and consequently becoming either jealous or affecting with superiority complex respectively.  When you have superiority complex, it is ok with you (though this should not be there), else in the event of getting found yourself as inferior to others, you become jealous or suffer from inferiority complex.

I hope you understand the above.

Now proceeding forward...

Your mind is habitual of comparing...You are lucky getting conscious of it and so, you should not get entangled or trapped in this feeling and rather, transform this feeling deliberately into love or compassion with others whom you are jealous with or whose superior features are disturbing you.  I know your mind would obstruct doing such kind act.  But you are lucky conscious of it and you can do it.

Now, there is one more fact - you are unique and no other else is like you and can never be and the same is with others too.  You are unique and you are new to this world...just new and always new and unique...

Be whatever you are; feel the uniqueness of yourself, feel the newness of yourself...feel the newness and uniqueness of your life...and I hope that this feeling would elevate positively.

According to the above, you should compare to yourself and nothing else and this would uplift your personality...

If anybody is not talking to you, may be he is some restricted by her/ his emotions or some other thing else, but you are free to talk to her / him..so you can...

I think beauty is the aspect of habit of your thoughts or your mind, beautify your mind by positive thoughts (read various literatures) and meditation.  May be you are this age, this seems to be somewhat obsolete...but this is the experience of many talents.

Past has gone and future is unknown and is not in your hands.  So, there is nothing to worried about.  Learn from the past and be alert and prepare yourself for the future.

I would like to recommend the following to go through:

(i) warm up
(ii) Padmasana, Pawanmuktasana, chakrasana, mandukasana, katichakarasana
(iii) Naadi - Shodhana Pranayama (only this one is recommended)

Do the above with consultation with some qualified yoga therapist for few weeks.

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